Brian's Song

45 years ago their love story began. Five years ago a diagnosis took their breath away. Almost one year ago three police officers forcibly removed the 60 year old, blond haired, blue-eyed beauty from their home in handcuffs after she had attacked the love of her life in a fit of dementia. Since first being removed from her home, she has been in and out of treatment facilities as her need for full-time quality care has only intensified. She has had two more police interventions, been removed from facilities due to the “intensity” of her condition. She has been isolated at a state health mental institute, exacerbating her dementia and paranoia. Most recently she was being treated in a geriatric psychiatric unit of a state facility. Her health demands a long-term memory care/dementia care facility that will not resort to calling 911 every time an “episode” occurs sending her back to the state mental hospital. The disease has already robbed her of her past, robbed them of their future, and the prohibitive cost will rob him of his ability to see her well-cared for unless others intervene on her behalf. Her care in a private facility costs $6,000-$9,000 per month due to the specialized attention she needs. Our goal is to raise funds to cover 2 years of expenses. This is not tax deductible, as we are not a non-profit company. Your donation will come from the goodness of your heart. His name is Brian. Cynthia is his wife. Never would he have dreamed that when he said, “I do” and “In sickness and in health” would he have seen something like this. Do not underestimate the impact of this disease. It does not get the funding and research it deserves. There are lots of charitable causes you can contribute to, but we hope that somewhere in your heart, you'll find a place for Cynthia. God bless you.

Help

So I probably need to preface this with the whole long story but I'll just throw this up here for now. I WILL come back to share the long story soon! But for now, we are trying to raise money to help move my mom, who has early onset Alzheimer's, into a quality memory care home. Here's the link to check out our story and fundraiser. Please take a look and share with others. https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/care-for-cynthia/256803 Thanks!

I blinked and 2 years have passed

Seriously? It feels like only a couple weeks have passed since I last updated this blog. The time stamps don't lie though. And it has clearly be 2 (ok, over 2) years since I have written anything. I blame Facebook. And Pinterest. And 3 kids. And doula work. Ok, ok, enough blaming. I promise from here on out to try to do a better job at maintaing this blog. I will try to post more regularly with something new. After 2 years, I guess we have a lot of catching up to do. DOn't worry, I'll keep it brief. We had another kid. She's a little over a year now. She is quite something. She is quirky and fiery. She is strong and is learning to hold her own already. She is sweet and cuddly and very, very busy! The older two are growing leaps and bounds. The boy has become a full fledged elementary school boy, fart jokes and all. The middle is now is kinder...yes, kindergarten! I seriously don't know how thathappened. She is keeping us all busy with crafts and tea parties and stories recounting every minute of her mornings of new school and friends. Meanwhile, we celebrated 11 years of marriage last month. That, too, has flown by. It is great to look back over the past decade +1 and see how much we changed, grown and evolved in so many areas of life. Fortunately, we've done these things together and found ourselves traveling this new path together. While Dave continues to teach, I continue to raise kids and serve couples as a doula. They are blessed jobs that we hold, though demanding and not always appreciated. But rewarding none the less! We look forward to sharing a little more of our lives with you as we see where the path leads us and how our journey will unfold.

Update

We just wanted to give a little update on our efforts to get overseas. Dave has his resume out to several schools in Europe who are in the beginning stages of hiring. He recently went to a recruitment fair for an organization that connects teachers with international schools. He did get the opportunity to interview with a couple schools. Unfortunately, there were not many schools there that were hiring in his area or that were in regions in which we were interested in moving. He still has applications out to several schools to which he applied independently. It is still early in the hiring season. We will continue to wait and see what develops over the next couple months and keep you posted on anything new. Thanks for your prayers and support!

Christmas

We had a relaxing Christmas. We spent a quiet morning at home with Amanda's parents watching the kids open their gifts and stockings. they had so much fun. Thanks to everyone who gave so generously to the kids this year!

Finally...

It's been a LONG while since we've posted an update. So here are a few pics of a day at the park:)

Settling In and Saying Goodbye

We recently moved into a house in a new city a few miles away from our former home. And while it was hard to leave the familiar surroundings, it has been so easy to enjoy our new space. The kids have a yard to play in. We have our own walls. There are no worries about how loud Willow screams, except for our ears, or the kids running around and jumping inside. There is no coin op washer that may or may not be being used for 6 hours straight and I don't have to lug baskets of laundry up and down a rickety set of stairs. But there is no courtyard here. There is no next door neighbor to keep an eye on your kid while you run to the store real quick or from whom to borrow some organic milk and eggs. It is an adjustment going from such intimate and intense community, where everyone knows your comings and goings, helps parent your children, can tell just by your facial expressions if you're having a good day or a bad one to a more private and quiet life within your own walls. We have definitely been grateful for the years of community that have taught us how to be better neighbors, friends, believers and human beings. But we are equally grateful for a respite of sorts. Some time to be reclusive. Some time to not answer questions or deal with other people's kids. Time for our kids to play outside, just the two of them. Time for us to listen to music as loud as we want. Time to come home and just relax together as a family. Yet, the quiet can be eery. The kids get bored. We get bored. So there are play dates, and trips to the park and walks around our nice, new little town. All things to help fill that need for community that is missing when you live "alone". It has definitely been an adjustment for all of us. The kids miss their friends. We miss our friends too. Saying goodbye to those whom we have grown to care about so deeply, is hard no matter if the move is down the road or hundreds or miles away. Because no matter what, distance means more work, more intentionality. But the relationships that have been developed in our community experience are not ones that will quickly fade. They are relationships that changed us, challenged us and made us better people. So we will be intentional. But it doesn't make saying good bye any easier. And no matter how many times we have had to do this over the last 7 years here, it never gets any easier.

But for now we are slowing getting used to this new set up, finding a balance between family and community, alone and together, reclusive and hospitable. I imagine by the time we really discover how to achieve that balance, it will be time to move on to something else. But I guess it's more about the journey, learning along the way. And I hope that we will all come away better and wiser than when we arrived.